How does the dx affect us?

Trauma and Adrenaline Responses

Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, Flop, Fib, Funster

Do you know your kids responses?

We all know fight, flight, and freeze. Some have probably heard of flop/faint (possum playing dead) and fawn/friendly (dog showing belly) as secondary responses. Do you know about the other secondary social human responses we see in responses that are present in humans that aren't found in nature? This adds Fib and Funster to the list.

The class clown, jokester, and pranksters and the ones that sneak, steal, and lie are also often operating from a place of adrenaline and survival instincts.

All of it is about self-preservation.

(There is one more F. That is fright mode. That's reacting to things that aren't even real threats because you have operated in that trauma place too long. The always be expecting a bear attack lurking just around the corner.)

Understanding, what lies behind the behavior often tells you much about how to deal with it.

Moms are often in fight mode after diagnosis. Most I have ever met are the very definition of Mama Bear. They have to be in some ways. They perceive everything as a threat and attack to their child even honest mistakes and misunderstandings. It is normal for people in high stress and coming from places of trauma. No one means harm. They are still just trying to survive. They need to protect their child(ren) since they couldn't protect them from the diagnosis.

Once someone is cornered or feels trapped is when you see the secondary responses whether real or perceived no way out. We all see this with our kids a lot. What happens after fight, flight, and freeze or when they weren't enough.

Flop - these are where you see the physical symptoms of stress. Fainting, nausea, etc. The ones always with stomach aches and wanting to come home and afraid to leave your side. The shy won't talk ones. The ones that can't take insulin or test in public.

Fawn - people pleasing. If I'm nice to you, maybe whatever threat will stop. These are the overly compliant kids. The friends to everyone because they don't want anyone to ever feel alone or left out.

Funster - make everything funny. The laugh instead of cry survival types. The class clowns. The ones that don't want anyone to know they are struggling and make everyone else laugh. If they are funny, maybe no one will notice their pain.

Fib - the ultimate human self-preservation act. (In kids, this is also wish fulfillment too for survival as much as getting out of trouble. The "if I say it, it will be true" because they wish it was.) The ones that you think wouldn't know the truth if it hit them in the face. Denial can also fall under here. Those that are so called 'non-compliant'. The ones lying to themselves more than anything to survive.